#WednesdayWellness: Issue #8

How to show up even when you’re not feeling it – Part 2

In the last blog, we talked about practical ways to ‘show up’ and simple pick-me-ups to help if you’re feeling down. Those simple tips will help you get through those weeks that seem to drag on, when your personal life is crumbling and your mental state is holding it together at best. 

Personally, I’ve spent my entire week worrying. With a sick parent fighting for her life in the hospital, I haven’t been feeling well enough to show up for people. I’ve been cancelling zoom calls, skipping exercise time, and drowning in self pity. Sometimes it’s just easier to let yourself go rather than pick yourself up and I’ve often wondered what it takes to pretend that you’re doing so much better, emotionally, than you actually are. 

The key to showing up is to pretend like you got it. To feign confidence and own the room, knowing that the feeling of confidence will soon fall into place. It’s the classic phrase ‘Fake it till you make it’ that applies here. Sometimes, you cannot afford to fall apart. Sometimes you still need to clock in a 9-5 and endure endless zoom calls even when you feel like you just can’t. In that case, you can’t afford to show your pain, so try and mask it behind fake confidence and own your meetings – naturally the feeling of real confidence will kick in. 

Tell yourself that its ok that you’re suffering, mourning, or if you’re just not feeling it. Validate your own feelings and don’t shrug them off or not deal with them, because that won’t help your mental state or self esteem.

Allowing yourself to break down in private is perfectly healthy and recommended, in order to process what you’re going through. Take proactive steps during the day to combat your negative feelings and then allow yourself to let it out in private. We’re not saying you need to always mask your emotions and always show up for people, sometimes we can afford to cry in front of our bosses or co-workers and thats ok, but sometimes we have to hide it. We’re not expected to be 100% all the time. But hopefully, you would have found some ways to still operate at 50% instead of losing it completely. Show up by pretending to be confident and allow yourself to break down at the right time, because your mental health matters and your problems matter. And yes, you can still own the room even when you’re falling apart.

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